For me... I can look at my Health Kinesiology book, flick through the pages, read some case studies... that hurts me. Why? Because I want it so much it hurts, I want to absorb it all so I have the tools at my fingertips, ready to go. I have this strange, permanent weight on my chest and I'm glad to have figured out what it is. It's because I'm strapped down, I'm going by other people's rules when that just isn't me. I like to be free to do as I please, and to know that soon I shall have that freedom to do as I please is rather exhilarating... just have to get through the next few months then freedom is mine.
The other day, someone said to me "you have a secure future ahead of you, it doesn't matter what you get this year does it? You've put the work in so just let it fall into place." I know letting it fall into place would mean me getting BCC or something in my A Levels and then I think... do I honestly care? Do I honestly care about some petty grades when in a few years time I could have the tools of Kinesiology, Aromatherapy or Massage at my fingertips so I am able to help people day in and day out? Right now, I'm learning... "what will be, will be". I do believe it's important to have a good education but isn't that what life is about? Learning? "You learn something new every day". Why should one cram all their learning and practice in to four years of University? Surely it is more exciting to be learning for the rest of your life... non? ... I don't think that made much sense but oh well, hopefully you shall get the jist of it.
Another thing that hurts is the learning of French. The fact that I know that I will disappoint people this year... or I feel as though I will but what I do know is that in a years time I could quite easily be fluent and shall be able to forget the disppointment and feel proud. That's the thing when you're a practical person. Exams don't come easy. Immersing yourself does.
I don't really know the meaning of this blog. But I would just like you all to think... is there something in life which when you think about, it hurts? Something dying to be released inside of you? If yes, then please go with it, who wants a life of pain?
Love always,
L x
P.s. If Miss Miller reads this then I am going to promise you something, if by the age of 35 you have not yet scooted yourself off to Italy with a type writer in hand to write that novel... then I will take you there myself.
Thankyou:D Sometimes in life we all have dreams that we want so badly to achieve, but there's the odd occasion that we forget them ourselves. I admire you for wanting to fulfill your ambitions straight away and I hope you can see that for others there is another path they must visit en route to gaining happiness.
ReplyDeletexxx
...And I know your path like the back of my hand.
ReplyDeleteLove you xxx